.Saturday, July 29, 2006.
what did i do?
what did i do to deserve his care?
what did i do to deserve your love?
what did i do to deserve anything in this entire world..?
what did i do to get so many ppl's love?
my sisters.. i everyday shout at them de.. why did they still like me?
my father.. i hated my mother. and why does he still like me?
my mom.. i hated you. every moment i hated you. and you hated me too. you said it very clearly. yet, sometimes you just pretended that i didnt hate you and pretended that you didnt hate me. why must you do that? its like you're bluffing yourself. the only time i like you was the old times, when you were the same old mother i see everyday.. but now? its all different. i hate you. but still, you gave me my allowance and gave me all the things i want and all the things i need. i feel like im lying to you. :( its like a werid feeling.. hating and loving you at the same time.
him.. i didnt even care for him at all. although he does. and i destroyed his life completely. totally. gave him all the bad luck any on out of a million guy will get. but why? did he still care about me? and never give up..? i treated him so badly. so so so badly. i didnt even made him happy for once. and the usual happy him just faded away.. into a guy who is so much of sorrow and sadness.. all because of me. but why..?
her.. its kind of werid.. i keep keeping things behind your back. and you never notice it. i feel so bad. and yet you're still my friend. =(
you.. i didnt even do anything to help you. nor anything to make you happy or anything.. =(.. den i gave u bad luck and also keep hiding secrets from you.. :(
my life is all in a total mess.
a real total mess.
i want to just die.
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when i say iloveyou its the truth. always the truth.
